I know as a parent we aren't supposed to compare our children, but I think it is bound to happen anyway. Now, I know my children aren't the same sex. That is pretty evident. Personality wise they are pretty opposite as well. We've always been able to tell that Luke has been more into books and letters and numbers than McKenna. She has always been our more artistic one.
Well, recently we have been becoming more and more concerned that McKenna is really lagging behind at school. We used to think that she had a real perfectionist side and that when she felt like she couldn't do something she just wouldn't try. While that may be partially true, it isn't the whole story. Where Luke is excelling in the classroom setting McKenna seems to really have a tough time learning in a group and needs much more hands on and one-on-one attention. This shouldn't come as a surprise since her had is a very physical, hands on learner and I am as well but not to as extreme a level.
Being a parent, you always wish that you could help your child. Kenna does a much better time working with Mike because he truly understands her and has more patients for helping her. I have never struggled with letters or numbers and have a hard time not pushing to hard when I'm working with her. Ultimately she shuts down on me and nothing gets accomplished.
This morning I had a conversation with their teacher and our fears were confirmed. She really is having a hard time keeping up with her classmates. So much to the point that her teacher is looking at having her evaluated for some extra help. We really need to pin down her learning style. As happy as I am to know that we weren't imagining things, it made me sad to think that I can't give her that help she needs.
As it as been becoming clearer that she is having a hard time at school an idea has been creeping to mind. Mike's aunt is a kindergarten teach in a different school district and I have been toying with the idea of seeing if she would be willing to work with Kenna. After talking to their teacher, I ran the idea past Mike and he wasn't to keen on the idea. BUT, I thought this is the one thing I could do. I can reach out to family and see if she would be willing to give us a hand. What's worst that would happen? She could say she doesn't have time or just doesn't want to. At least then I tried. So against Mike's feeble objection, I gave his aunt a call at school when I knew she would be in between classes. I prefaced my request with "you can say no" and then laid the situation out with my request. ( I hate asking for help and always feel guilty when I do.)
This is where I say that I feel so blessed to have the family we have. Mike's aunt is willing to work with Kenna for 30 - 45 minutes one evening a week or every other week starting next Tuesday. So between some extra help in school and with Mike's aunt I hoping that we find something that works for her and causes learning to become fun so she can reach her full potential.
I know I started out talking about parents comparing their children. I think in my case it isn't so much us comparing Lucas and McKenna as it is the rest of the world. People seen to think that because they are twins the should always be pretty close developmentally. While that may have been the case up to the age of 2, things have changes since then and despite sharing a birthday they are truly individuals. My concern was that she wasn't going to get all the help that she needs and wouldn't move on to First Grade with her brother. What is the big deal some might ask. The big deal is ... Kenna a child who is already hard on herself when she doesn't catch on as fast as her brother. Then, you add in that despite her family working hard to treat her as an individual she still has the identity of a pair. What kind of blow does that give to her self esteem? Right now she still thoroughly enjoys going to school even if it is hard for her. Would that love of school remain? I'm afraid the answer would be no.
So, again, I am so thankful for a teacher who concerned enough about my child to recommend her for the extra help she needs and I am even more thankful to the family member who is willing to give time out of her week to help my child succeed where I can't.
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